माय मराठी

 

28 November it completes Forty Years of your departure. But Still you are around us.  here in our  hearts, thoughts, in our deeds, in our day and in our nights. The great wait of mine has no end it seems.  I couldnt see you back. you never returned. But  I had few questions to ask you appa even if i know it is impossible for you to return but my mind is still mad for you oh father.  wanted to see you back and talk to and fight with you and wants to feel your love for us all and also I have to give an account of my life lessons to you ... since I tried much much harder,  softly and harshly but it seems worked very less .. i wanted to surrednder the deed of life to your feet and ask for your justice.
      you know that As you left we were children but you left without a second thought. You left your younger children without thinking of their hearts. Their needs, their difficulties, their challenges, you left them with.. and All was shattered in no time when you left us all.
...... I remember clearly a that horrible day , I wasnt even aware what was happening to us.  in the early morning only  I was sent to granparents house to give the news with brother in law and came back home i realise that something strange had happened.. and we lost you last night..
.... that whole day, our house was flooded with full of people, our relatives, their soft talks and chats, care and worries looking at our faces. and strongly felt our grand parents presence for the day but with that, 
the day and the era ended for me with grandpas one simple question.  after that i was not in my senses for long long time a boy of twelve was asked 'manoj what you want to do now ?'  when his elders were there in family but the burden was put on this little shoulder and till today I am living with it. after a year or two we lost grandpa our ' tata '  too..
.... but his haunting question was asked when you were in the coffin in front of me and mother sitting next to me before your final goodbye from your own home which you had built it again with so much of efforts. unawre of my status in family inanswered grandpa then and there please help me put a small tupery a wooden box shop to run my family, i stepped agead and took the challenge. but it was never done. mother and us all had tough time later. withing a month i started working and soon sister too started working to support mother..
....   you should have taken care of your health Appa . after that day my nights were stolen by your great wait. i was madly waiting for you to come back. there was no sleep late nights waiting for your come back which was impossible and never happened.  i remember this madness and then realising it and coming back to routine every year around this day ... only after your death we knew that its my mothers birthday too.. How cruel of you ...
      Also let me tell this , you were admired by the whole family.  you were the prince charming for all the youngster of your and inlaws family. You were actually a handsome, great looking man of green and brown eyes, curly golden black haired,  beautiful soul, charming person, and ofcourse a loving father, caring friend and great teacher but ... you were in such a hurry Why ?
....who will answer my questions ? who will listen to my heart and who will listen to my children s heart ,  whom you left as your orphans, your younger children  ? ... i am sorry i couldnt take good care of your family behind you. even knowing that i was  incapable,  you left on us left us alone.
....hmm after that day,  no body visited that house again, till your wife died.. (ofcourse every body had their own challenges to survive with) and we were totally cut off from the family for long time. ... stiill we started to mend it but couldnt do it so well,  the patches couldnt blend so well... i try to join the dots you both left us with step by step..   I remember you on this 40th death anniversary of yours, oh father.
Do you miss us too ? on behalf of us children please Do wish mother A happy Birthday.
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏